Guest Post: Oh Mighty Sister In Law

Guest Writer: Em

“I have an OMS….Oh Mighty Sister-in-law.

She knows every thing there is worth knowing and can solve any and all your problems herself, without your contribution being necessary. All you have to do is bow down low and humbly explain all your pain and problems so that she can tell you it’s your own fault and that you should have thought of a million things beforehand and that it is the height of irresponsibility…blah blah blah and then she will simply say, ‘Now, go get a job/better job and everything will be fine’.

Now, why didn’t we think of that?!

She is also profoundly critical of our life choices….we didn’t buy the house in the burbs, the dog and the Desperate Housewives life package. We didn’t opt to work 40-60 hours a week to pay for said life and that offends her on so many levels. But when you see how happy she is….or at least the façade, well, gosh, what bad choices we’ve made. And what was this about breastfeeding until baby A was 2 years old, baby wearing until 3 years old and GASP! Co-sleeping…even now sometimes? And bedtime AFTER 8pm?!!! That one was a doozy for her to digest. Everyone knows that she will NEVER learn to be independent or cut the strings with mommy…We’re spoiling her and making a monster…

She has an opinion on everything and if you don’t agree, it’s war and she’ll spend the next HOURS trying to bring you to see her light. She will also harp on it for days with the OMP (Oh Mighty Parents-in-law) and ride her white charger all over spewing righteous indignation that her ‘advice’ was not followed. And the way she treats her own family….don’t even get me started! I have never given her advice on that score, because, well, I believe that parents should make their own decisions and that ‘help’ should only come when it’s asked for. Unsolicited advice is something I don’t enjoy being inflicted on me and I won’t do it to others…

But back to OMS, she tries to make my OMH feel bad about being out of work (cause GOSH! It’s so easy to find a job in this market…), she forbade him from coming over to her house because he sat on her couch and….wait for it…..ate some cookies! She also is blind jealous that my OMF actually unbent and warmed up to our baby A when she was still a baby and is more involved than he was with her kids. She doesn’t really know her own parents that well anymore and is quick to accuse us of taking advantage of their ‘giving’ nature….What? Wait…You want WHO to watch your dog and the new stray cat that you picked up on the side of the road and tried to foist off on the OMP? Oh, right, your parents, said OMP.

ACK! ACK! ACK!!!!!!!

Stay tuned for future installments in my own private soap opera….”