Happy Birthday to me!

I haven't spoken to the OMM for three weeks now.

And it feels GREAT!

I have a heap I could write about but wanted to share with you my last birthday.

OMM and OMF took me out for dinner. With OMH and his brother and his brother's new girlfriend.

I had a middle ear infection and a sinus infection. I was not feeling very well at all. I could barely keep my balance and I was feverish as well.

My son needed to have his diaper changed and she offered to help me. On our way to the change room I offered her an apology for being such bad company and explained I was not feeling well. Please note, we were living with her for three weeks while we waited to get access to our new house so she knew full well that I hadn't been well for days. She accepted my apology and we did what we had to do and moved back to the table.

I was sitting next to her. And I had a dizzy spell, put my hand on her shoulder to stabilize and moaned with the pain it caused in my ear.

She looked over at me and snapped "Whats WRONG with YOU!?" I reminded her that I had a middle ear infection, was not feeling well and my ear was hurting me.

I really don't know why she did this. But it seemed to me that she was showing off for the new girlfriend. It seemed to me she had something to prove. I don't know what it was or why she had to do it but she announced in a snarl "Oh yeah? Well maybe I should slap your other ear and then you wouldn't notice?"

I was really hurt by that. And stunned. And speechless. I did not say anything back to her. I did not tell her I thought she was a bitch, even though it had crossed my mind.

Tell me people. Why do I sit and put up with her shit?? Why do I feel the need to LET HER WALK ALL OVER ME, when more than half of our time spent together is spent her being nasty to me. For no reason?

I've spent these last few years wondering what I am doing wrong. Why she does this to me and why I care so much. I've figured in the last few weeks of no contact that I'm probably not doing anything wrong. And I care so much because it should not BE LIKE THIS. That it probably would not matter how far up her ass I shoved my head, she would eventually find a way (not reason, she has no reason for this behavior) to make my life miserable. To belittle me, to undermine my parenting. To be rude to me in front of other people and then deny it ever happened.

Right this minute, neither OMH or I have spoken to her or anyone in his family for three weeks. OMM and I had a fight and I told OMH that I had had enough and his mother and his family could kiss my ass. He totally agrees (since the fight she and I had we are in total agreement on) We have no intention at this time to go sucking back. But having said that, SHE HAS NO IDEA we're even pissed at her. She has NO IDEA that she's totally crossed our line. She thinks we're busy, and have stayed away because we have things we really need to do at this time of year. Even though the last time she and I spoke, it all got very nasty.

She's a fucking moron.

Long time no post

I'd love to say that I haven't posted in a long time because there have been no issues. But the honest truth is that there have been bigger issues than my monster in law to deal with. Posting here is far down on my list of things to get done at the end of each day.

I've figured some things out recently.

It's ironic that we moved back to our home town specifically to be closer to OMM. Funny right?? Because when she visited, she was the most amazing grandmother to my child. And since I missed out on grandparents being caring and actively involved in my life, I wanted that for my kids. I want them to have THAT relationship with their grandparents. It seemed unfair of me to be living so far away where a web cam chat and occasional visit was all they could get from someone that clearly loved and adored them.

But come closer.

The truth is far from that. Living closer has made us see that she is still the same old manipulative woman that we originally left town to avoid. When OMM gets a bee in her bonnet, it's a big one. And it somehow means that if she's got a problem with me (ie: me defending myself) then she ALSO ignores my child.

When OMH got diagnosed with MS and she didn't think he HAD MS I asked her to stop and think about him, instead of herself. I asked her to be there for her son during a really tough time. And since she didn't think he had MS and didn't appreciate being told to be her son's MOTHER she didn't talk to me, or help me out or anything for weeks on end. And for weeks on end, she ignored my child. Her grandchild. She wouldn't touch him, hug him or talk to him. And if he tried to give her hugs or talk to her she would be really harsh with him and ignore his innocent advances.

When we had our little tiff over me having gestational diabetes the same thing happened. She ignored Baby A for a week. He would run in to her house and yell out "Granny" with open arms as he always does. And she would just hmph and ignore him.

It's really not only when she's got a pole stuck up her ass that she's different. Compared to how she treated Baby A when it was just the occasional visit, she has changed. She doesn't treat him nearly as nicely as she did back then. It's just cruel too see him run at her with love and affection and see him get rejected that way. It's awful to see him ask her for a hug and he say "not now I'm busy" when all she's doing is making a coffee. Or watching TV.

OMH, despite his better judgment, has decided to go back to work next year once he finishes his first year of a four year course. We will save and we will move away. Because it seems to us that the only way for our kids to have nice, loving caring and actively involved grandparents...is to only have them visit twice a year.

And that woman fucks with my head and I am over it.